Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
third nipple confirmed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
