I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
