she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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