i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize