yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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