He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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