ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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