I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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