you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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