I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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