doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
