i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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