Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need water and some morals
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
