I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
