areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
