Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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