apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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