Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
