was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
