Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
