i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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