I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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