I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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