They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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