Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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