I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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