he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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