oh god the rape fog is back!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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