You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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