you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
