he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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