Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
