I want to stick my p in your. b.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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