Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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