I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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