Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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