just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
