But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
