Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
