Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
