Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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