Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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