he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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