so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize