imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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