Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
