If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
