I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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