ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
