hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
