Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize