i think my tv is drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
