So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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