yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
