the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
