But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
