if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize