So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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