i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
