This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
